I haven't been able to blog much lately for the simple reason that I've been too dispirited, disappointed, frustrated, fed up - pick your adjective.
Isn't this blog supposed to be uplifting, inspirational, empowering - the tale of my victory over my genetic destiny?
But nothing is so simple. I wish I could say yeah, oophorectomy is great, not a big deal living with no ovaries. But that simply is not true. Despite the fact that I am on a large enough dose of HRT to satisfy a menopausal elephant, in the past few months, my libido has plummeted to zero - picking lint off my towels strikes me as a more enjoyable pastime than having a go at my Boy Toy.
And then things got worse.
A few weeks ago, I started bleeding. Just a few spots at first which gradually increased to something resembling a "period". I thought it would stop and after six weeks it had diminished to a trickle. But the leaky faucet wouldn't stop dripping completely so I finally called Dr. Lucky. She said that it's most likely attributable to the hormones I'm on but it could also be "something funky going on with the uterus". (Her singular choice of words.)
So I went in to see her. She did an ultrasound that showed that my uterine lining was 9 mm. Not a good score. It should have been thinner. She also saw a shadow that she was convinced was a polyp.
"You need a sonohysterogram", she said. Also known as gynecological water torture wherein a tube of saline is injected into the uterine cavity whilst a sonogram is taken. Said test revealed a squeaky clean uterine cavity - no polyps, fibroids or anything "funky" in evidence.
"I'm going to need a sample," she said. Lately I've been giving away more samples than a Whole Foods. Obtaining said sample involved an endometrial biopsy that felt exactly like someone was sucking my insides out, precisely because someone was sucking my insides out.
The whole ordeal was quite horrible and I'm still waiting for the results from the biopsy. The bottom line is that Dr. Lucky thinks that it's "nothing", just a reaction to the HRT I'm taking.
Or it could be cancer.
If I had a nickel for every time a doctor told me I might have cancer. . .
But assuming it isn't, I still have to do something about it. I can't go on bleeding like this forever. . .